Russian Tyrant Putin ‘Soils Himself,’ Literally

Russia’s presumably tough, though certainly bloodthirsty dictator Vladimir Putin, has just suffered an incident in which he fell a flight of stairs and soiled himself.

This comes according to a report by a Russian Telegram channel claiming insider knowledge of the Kremlin and ties to the tyrant’s bodyguards.

The Failed Wannabe Conqueror of Ukraine

The latest insider report by the Telegram channel General SVR, which has been spilling Putin’s secrets for months now, comes amid continuing staggering Russian losses in the Moscow dictator’s war in Ukraine.

In a bid to rebuild the former Soviet empire, Putin invaded Ukraine on February 24 with plans for victory in three days, only to be taken aback by the ferocious resistance of the Ukrainians.

Nearly 10 months later, the losses of the official Russian military have surpassed 90,000 killed in combat, with even more wounded, while Putin’s mercenaries, proxies, and auxiliary national guard troops have also raked in tens of thousands of casualties.

Russia’s Awful Performance in Ukraine

At the same time, more than 18,000 units of Russian military equipment have been destroyed, including 280 warplanes and nearly 3,000 main battle tanks.

Regardless of their heavy losses, the Russians continue to throw large “human waves” of newly mobilized conscripts while trying to utterly destroy Ukraine’s electricity network in the middle of the winter.

For all of his horrifying, bloodthirsty war crimes and genocide in Ukraine, the elderly, ailing Putin – who turned 70 about a month before US President Joe Biden turned 80 this fall – seems to be succumbing to his ailments and old age.

That has been revealed by the latest report of the General SVR channel on the Telegram messaging app, whose real authors are anonymous but which is linked to Russian opposition activist and Kremlin critic, Moscow-based political scientist Prof. Valery Solovey.

‘Involuntary Defecation’

Putin fell a flight of stairs in his government residence on Wednesday night, with the fall causing him to “soil himself,” SVR reported, as cited by The Daily Mail.

The Russian mass-murdering leader first fell on his tailbone, then dropped down five steps, rolled onto his side, and collapsed down two more steps.

The channel said the impact caused the Moscow tyrant to “involuntary defecate” because of his “cancer of the gastrointestinal tract.”

The report further said Putin’s fall happened before his bodyguards’ eyes. They rushed to his aid, took him to the nearest sofa, and called the medical staff on duty at the government residence. 

General SVR revealed further that the doctors who arrived immediately could not examine the Russian tyrant right away because of his involuntary defecation. 

The doctors first took Putin to the bathroom, where they helped him clean up himself. 

After that, the failed wannabe conqueror of Ukraine was examined and found to have bruised his coccyx (tailbone) and soft tissues. 

Without any severe consequences, his slight fall injuries were treated with painkillers. 

Putin’s staff started investigating the causes of his staircase fall since he was revealed to wear special anti-slipping shoes, while stairs are deemed safely maintained. 

The report concluded that “precautions are meaningless,” as the incident shows, “when nerves are at stake.”

General SVR revealed earlier this year that Putin was suffering from cancer, survived one or possibly two assassination attempts after invading Ukraine, and over the summer, forced his secret wife, former gymnast Alina Kabaeva, to abort what would have been their fifth child.